Double-O Ninja (Canadian Version)
by Le-Muffin-of-Death
Summary: Canada is slightly frustrated on not being noticed. Kumajirou recommends he become a ninja. Canada actually thinks this over and agrees. This isn't a bad idea...right? Pranks and hilarity ensue. Rated T for future swearing (PruCan may be implied, but they are otherwise friends)
1. Prologue

**A/N: Unfortunately, I lost all the chapters I made for Mochi Madness. I'll go type those up right now.**

**For now, enjoy the little plot bunny that refused to leave!**

**:D**

* * *

"Dude, I totally got this! We just need a boatload of robots that can transform into cars-"

"You're a bloody idiot. I am not wasting money on such a ridiculous idea."

"What would you waste money on, mon chèr~?"

"Not on you! You bloody frog- ack! Stop touching me!"

"Oh, you like this, do not deny love~!"

"What love?!"

"Ahaha! Bro, you're _so red_!"

"Everyone, shut up!"

"Ve~ Germany, can we have a pasta break?"

"Nein! We are here for a meeting and-"

"But- but, pasta!"

"Dude, hamburger break!"

"Wanker, it's called a tea break."

"A wine break, perhaps~?"

"Shut up!"

Canada listened on, his small, slightly irritated smile in place. He was patient. He could wait his turn to speak.

"Can we talk about real issues?!"

"Bros! My government is going crazy and making Internet laws. Internet laws!"

"Who gives a bloody-"

"Internet laws!"

The barely noticeable Canadian pressed his bear to his chest, his smile fading slightly. No, he could wait. He was patient. Surely, they would continue with the meeting shortly.

"Burgers!"

"Pasta!"

"Scones."

"Wine~!"

"Wine isn't a food, you bloody git!"

"Pancakes," Canada muttered into Kumajirou's fur. Of course, no one heard.

Canada silently watched on as they continued to argue about meaningless things. He sighed, placing his chin on top of Kumajirou's hair. "Why aren't I noticed, Kumakichi?"

"Who?"

"Canada."

"Oh. Because you're boring?"

Canada huffed, peering down at his bear. "I'm not boring..."

"You're so quiet. Like a ninja."

"You know what a ninja is, but you don't know who I am?..."

"Yes."

The nation deflated slightly. "Was that a complement, then?"

"You don't do ninja things. You're like a lazy ninja. Ninja's are cool."

"I'm not cool?..."

"Be more ninja."

"How?" Canada asked curiously. He couldn't believe he was actually having this conversation.

"Be sneaky. Kill bad guys. Pull pranks," Kumajirou counted off, making a chopping motion with his paw.

"Pranks?...Maybe I've been letting you watch tv too much..."

"Tv is good. Like ninjas. And maple syrup."

"Maple syrup is good," Canada agreed quietly. Unfortunately, for Canada, his bear grew bored of the conversation and wiggled in his grasp. He gave a soft sigh and set Kumajirou down on the ground, watching in quiet amusement as his little friend whined to each nation about its hunger.

"Be more ninja?..." He asked himself, playing with his pen. "That's a dumb idea, but...I could try?"

Canada nodded determinedly to himself. "Even if it was just for a bit, I'm going to be a 'ninja'."

His shoulders slumped.

"That sounds _so dumb_ out loud..."

"Ninjas are cool."

Canada started, nearly falling out of his seat in surprise. He looked over to see Kumajirou again, his muzzle covered in food.

"Kumajama, you can't- you scared me..!"

"Who?"

"Canada."

"Oh. Sorry. But, ninjas are cool," The polar bear cub repeated, climbing back onto Canada's lap.

"We've established that, eh?" Canada began to pet Kumajirou's soft fur, smiling softly when he heard his friend purr.

"Start being cool," Kumajirou said, leaning into Canada's touch. "Go steal Loud Man's burgers. He'd be so confused and it would be funny and I will get free food."

"That's mean," Canada scolded softly. "And you look like you already ate."

"Sausage is good, but I'm still hungry."

"Who gave you sausage?"

"Blond Meanie. Keeps calling me Knut and gives me food. I'm okay with that."

"Your nicknames for my friends are very mean..."

"Not friends. Ninjas don't have friends."

Canada frowned slightly. "I would like to have friends, though."

"Okay. Ninjas have friends then."

"Really?"

"No. But, it made you feel better."

Canada chuckled. "I guess it did..."

"Good. Now, steal Loud Man's food. He would never know."

"That's still mean, Kumakiwi."

"Who?"

"Canada."

"Oh. But, it's right there..."

Canada fought an internal battle. It was the bloodiest internal battle he has ever faced. He struggled, biting his lower lip hard and shaking his head.

Polar bear puppy eyes were just so cute.

"Okay..."

He wasn't sure if he would regret this or not.

Meh.

What could possibly go wrong?

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**A/N: I love Canada :3 He will not stutter and be a little push-over in my ****vic. That's not how I see him as at all ;w;  
**

**PruCan might be implied (sorry if you are not a shipper) so I'll just keep it that way. Implied, I mean.**

**Hope you all liked the small prologue!**

**:D**

**R&R~**


	2. Bears, Ninjas, and Bacon Lots of Bacon

**A/N: Probably not what you guys were expecting (and it's a bit shot orz)**

**But, enjoy~!**

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"Take it..."

Canada grunted in response. This was ridiculous.

"Take it..."

"It's not right..."

"It's food."

"That is not what I meant," Canada sighed quietly. The meeting has been called to a lunch break and everyone was eating. Everyone except him, of course. Kumajirou was very set on stealing America's hamburgers. "I'm hungry, Kumasami..."

"Who?"

"Canada."

"Oh. I am too."

"Then, can I eat?..." There were pancakes in his bag. Pancakes sounded _so_ good now; especially with maple syrup. He was practically salivating at the thought.

"Ninjas never take breaks. Ninjas just take stuff."

"Can I take my pancakes from my bag?.." Kumajirou thought for a moment. He tapped his muzzle with his paw and hummed in thought.

"Nope."

Canada groaned. No one heard this, of course. They simply continued to eat their own food. "Lucky hosers..."

"Food...food...take the burger..." The Canadian sent his bear a strange look. He seemed to_ really_ want a burger.

"Maybe I could ask?..."

"No fun. Take it. He has so many..."

"He only has five.."

"That's a lot."

"Now, it's four..."

"Still too much."

Canada sighed. "Fine. But only one, okay?"

"Two."

"One."

"Three."

"One."

"Four."

"That's all he has!"

"Three and a half."

"Ew..."

"Yes?"

"How about no, eh?"

Kumajirou pouted. "Be more ninja. Be cool. A ninja would get the burgers."

"I think you're forgetting I'm not a ninja..."

"Lazy ninja."

"I'm. Not. A. Ninja."

"That's what a ninja _would_ say," Kumajirou said matter-of-factly, waddling over to America. Canada cursed softly and followed his friend.

"Kumapachi, come back...!"

Kumajirou shook his head. "Loud Man takes credit and you get beat up. Take his food and eat it up."

"...Eh?"

"Karma."

"But...but that happens on its own..."

"Do something for yourself."

Canada blinked, a small smile crossing his lips. That statement, no matter how mean it sounded to him, warmed his heart. "Thank you..."

"Who are you again?"

Canada's shoulders slumped. "Canada..."

"Go take burgers now."

"Fine, fine..." The blond nation crept over to his brother's seat. He wasn't even sure why he was being sneaky; no one would notice him anyway.

"Canadia! Just in time, bro!"

Oh, how wrong he was.

Canada nearly jumped out his skin. He yelped, clutching the fabric of his jacket over his heart. "You scared me...!" He whispered.

America laughed and motioned for the other nation to come closer. "Dude, I totally want you to try this new burger I made! Britain is deny me!"

"I like my cholesterol at a normal level, thank you very much." England's eyes flickered over to Canada. He blinked, not recognizing him. "I'm sure you would feel the same, uh,...?"

"Canada," The younger nation offered quietly.

"Oh, right. Canada. I knew that."

Canada internally winced, smiling softly at the two. "Try a burger, eh?"

"Yup! I put mad amounts of bacon, bro! This is going to be so epic, you don't even know!"

"Bacon? I don't see what's wrong with bacon..."

"When he says 'mad amounts of bacon' he means a ridiculously high amount."

"It's not ridiculous! It's rad-iculous!"

Canada swallowed and looked down at the burger. Just looking at it almost made him go into cardiac arrest. "I'll pass...maybe next time?"

America pouted and picked up his bacon burger, grease and other sauces flowing down his hand. "If you say so..." He turned back to England and began to babble noisily, placing his burger back down to emphasis with his hands.

Canada looked down at the burger then to Kumajirou. Kumajirou nodded vigorously. "Take it..."

His bear was beginning to creep him out with the 'Ninja burger' thing.

He looked back up to the other two. They weren't even looking. He could easily take it if he wanted to...

But, did he want to?

No. Of course not.

Or did he?

He wasn't even sure anymore. He just found the thought of stealing something from America to be extremely fun and worthwhile.

His bear turned him into a kleptomaniac and he was strangely okay with this.

With that thought, Canada silently picked up the burger, his nose wrinkling at the smell and feel of grease. He looked at the two blonds and breathed a sigh in relief that they were too preoccupied with arguing with one another.

"I got it, Kumajo," Canada whispered, tip-toeing back to his seat.

"Wrap it up in a napkin." Kumajirou quickly took some from Germany, padding over to Canada. Canada frowned. Maybe he wasn't the only kleptomaniac at the moment.

He wrapped up the burger in the napkin, wincing as the grease continued to flow. "So much bacon..."

"Hey! My burger!"

Canada winced again, looking down at Kumajirou pleadingly.

"Let's go home," Was all he said, padding over to the exit. Canada shrugged and silently followed him. The meeting was practically done with anyway, and he still ha a bit of paperwork to do.

He opened the door and closed it behind him, drowning out America's wails and dramatics.

"Pick me up." Kumajirou stood on his hind legs, his paws outstretched. Canada chuckled and did as he was told.

It suddenly occurred to him, at that moment, that he was taking orders from a bear.

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**A/N: Believe it or not, that burger is going to play a huge role later on.**

**xD**

**come on! Everyone loves Klepto!Ninja!Canada xD**

**andprussiamightcomeinlaterewe**

**Until next time, lovelies~!**

**R&R**


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